I've heard many discouraged and depressed believers cry out in distress because, " I know what I did was wrong, I know you say God forgives me, but I just can't forgive myself." You know what? They're right. They can't forgive themselves and they don't need to. Before you lable me a heretic and burn me at the stake, know that I haven't gone off the deep end, but have a revolutionary truth that we all need to understand. It is a truth that has changed my life and helped me find a peace and freedom that I didn't previously know was possible. Looking at me from the outside, some may doubt that I've ever done anything that bad because after all, I'm a church going goody two shoes - or so i've been called (true story). I may be a pastor, but that doesn't make me better than anyone. I have felt the convicting light of Christ pierce into the darkness of my sinful soul and show how my selfishness, cowardice, and pride have wounded others. I have also heard the voice of condemnation rattle off my sins and tell me that I am altogether repulsive, rejected by God, and without cure. Some well intentioned counselors may suggest that I needed to forgive myself, but I don't and I won't. You shouldn't either. You won't find a command in scripture to "forgive yourself" because it's not Biblical! If it's not Biblical, then where did it come from? I've heard it preached from pulpits, but is it possible that this is just a cultural misunderstanding of God's grace. Call it a human counselor's poor advice, but don't call it Gospel truth. Let's work the logic on this. If you still disagree with me after this, let's talk. In fact, I invite you do dialogue with me in the comments below. Not every comment will be posted, but I will be fair if you are. Here are some great reasons rooted in God's word why you don't need to forgive yourself: 1. Your sin is not against you. This is the most important point I can make here. King David knew this and wrote out his Psalm/ prayer for forgiveness in Psalm 51. 1 Be gracious to me, O God, according to Your lovingkindness; According to the greatness of Your compassion blot out my transgressions. 2 Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity And cleanse me from my sin. 3 For I know my transgressions, And my sin is ever before me. 4 Against You, You only, I have sinned And done what is evil in Your sight, So that You are justified when You speak And blameless when You judge. Now, King David did some pretty unbelievable things including stealing another man's wife after peeping her taking a bath, decieving said woman's husband to try to cover his tracks, then putting to death by military command. just to name a few. His response was telling of what he believed about forgiveness and the nature of his sin. Notice that first he called out for God's compassion and cleansing while recognizing that even though His sin affected and offended many, it really was only against God. It was only God's forgiveness he was pursuing, not his own. How can that be? Did he not sin against Bathsheeba or her husband Uriah? He certianly did wrong by them and no doubt offended their character, but is it technically sin? Who defines sin as sin? Isn't the one who defines what sin is the primary one who is offended? Even if other parties are hurt by our actions, our sin always points to the source of all good things, the author of right and wrong, the one whose character and being they are all based on. | This takes morality to the source. We could dive deeper here, but we would get swept away into a philosophical and theological discussion that might be enlightening for some, but mostly confusing for others. 2. You are not God - I know this should be obvious, but throughout history humanity has repeatedly confused themselves for the Almighty. When we think that we are the ones who are fit to judge everyone and everything we put ourselves on God's great white throne of judgement. Who are you to judge what is forgivable? If God says that, "if you confess your sins, he is faithful and just to forgive you of your sin and cleanse you from all unrighteousness", (1 John 1:9) who are you to keep holding on to the shame and pain? He declares you righteous based on faith in Christ's finished work on the cross and not on your being good enough or forgiving yourself. 3. Only God can forgive sins - In Mark 2, Jesus heals a man who was paralyzed. What he says to the man gets himself in deep trouble with the pharisees and religious leaders of his time. He says "Son, your sins are forgiven" (Mk 2:5). The uproar from the disbelieving theologians is understood, "only God can forgive sins." Jesus, puts down their argument with proof that he has divine authority over disease and thus to forgive sins by telling the man to take up his mat and walk. So, to integrate the previous point, our sin is agains God, So the offended party alone has power to forgive sins - AND HE DOES!!! 4. You didn't pay the price for your sin - You aren't Jesus and didn't give your life to take the punishment that your sins deserve. If you want to be a glutton for that eternal punishment, if you want to wallow in condemnation and shame, God will let you, but that means rejecting God's offer of salvation by faith in what Jesus did. That means that you are not a Christian at all. That means that you have chosen where you want to spend eternity. You have chosen Hell. Yikes! We got super intense there, but think about it. It's not a great option. What can you do instead? INSTEAD
You are loved! Never forget that! |
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It's Christmas break and despite the many awesome gifts that we will receive, there will no doubt be some kids bored to tears and parent baffeled by such things. Frankly, I'm baffeled too. Think about it, wouldn't it make sense that of all the people through all the centuries we should be the least bored culture ever? Given the extent that technology has become so pervasive and new media is being constantly created we have an endless supply of entertainment at our fingertips. Yet we are not satisfied. We are bored. Why? When I was in youth ministry, and a teen complained that they were bored, i would reply, "Only boring people get bored". Then they would roll their eyes and walk away in disgust as if I could never understand. Still it does bear some personal examination. Ask yourself: "Am I a boring person or am I..." What is one of the most remarkable things about Jesus' teaching is that He always points to the heart of the matter with laser like precision. He cuts through all the preconceived notions and the way we developed our thoughts about God and makes the truth shine in contrast. It's human nature to take what we hear in our culture or even popular sayings and adopt them as truth. We hear what we want to hear and believe what we like to believe. The modern version of this, moral relativism, is like a salad bar. When you look at truth as relative you will you pick and choose what you like (bacon bits) and ignore what you don't like and sometimes have never tried (like anchovies). This means that your theology is customization, personal, and arbitrary instead of being rooted in the character of God and the truth He has revealed. Jesus challenges the basis for the beliefs of the religious people of His age and takes them to the real "Why" of these issues.
In the best sermon ever, the famous Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5-7 click this before and read before continuing), Jesus takes the way that we have come to look at how the world works and flips it on it's head. Instead of the rich, reassured, ruthless, rotten, rebels ruling the world, getting eternal life, and seeing God, Jesus says it's the opposite. It is the poor in spirit, the mourning, the meek, those longing for righteousness, the merciful, the pure, the peacemakers, the persecuted (for righteousness), and those insulted for doing good. Jesus then starts talking about how these kind of people should let their light shine in the world. Boy do we need more of salt and light today! After that brief discourse he talks about his approach to the law which is then followed by a series of "you have heard it said statements. Many of these statements correspond to biblical commands from the Old testament which had been reinterpreted by tradition and time to become external observances and miss the heart of God entirely. He takes 7 things that the religious people of his day thought they knew to be true and elevates them to a whole "new" level.
1. MURDER So even if you have never murdered someone (which I hope you haven't), but have still hated them in your heart, you are no less guilty of sin as someone who did the deed. You may not be able to be found guilty in a court of human law, but in God's court, Jesus, the righteous judge says you are. He urges his followers to deal with this sin right away because it not only puts your soul in danger, but it kills relationships. 2. ADULTERY Then Jesus takes what the people think they know about adultery and takes it past just the act of cheating on your spouse to looking at someone lustfully and thus cheating in your heart. God takes marriage seriously, but he also takes purity seriously. So seriously that Jesus suggests extreme measures in dealing with sin like this. He doesn't just say, "come on guys sin is bad, cut it out". He actually says, "cut it off, gouge it out, throw it away". That is something you do when you are absolutely disgusted with something, you get it as far away from you as possible. That is what He is saying you should do with your body parts should they cause you to sin. Well, metaphorically speaking that is how we should deal with sin - get rid of it completely and ruthlessly. Cut it out of your life. Still, can you imagine what curious people Christians would be if they did in fact take this literally? We'd have a lot of blind, handless people who couldn't clap along much less sing in worship. 3. DIVORCE The practice of divorce in Jesus time was ruthless (not a joke about Boaz before marriage) . Given that in that culture women didn't have the rights they do today and were counted as property, they could be completely destroyed, disgraced, and abandoned if a husband finds something that "displeases" him about her. All he had to do was give her walking papers and he could go and find a new wife to shack up with that would "please" him. The maker of marriage says that this kind of behavior is morally wrong. God has always hated divorce (Malachi 2:16). He made an allowance for it, knowing that man's hearts are wicked, but He hates it none the less. God values fidelity because it reflects who He is, just as the loving marriage relationship communicates so much about lordship, submission, honor, forgiveness, and grace. Now, Jesus says that apart from the spouse committing sexual immorality, this must not be or it is a disgrace on both of them and if they get remarried it is adultery. This is a tough teaching. Especially for the people of the time who thought that divorce was no big deal and it required no solid grounds. As a side note, the key issue here is fidelity to the marriage covenant. Jesus discusses such oaths next, but this covenant breaking is not what He is talking about. For the sake of victims of abuse and abandonment, I believe that the violator of those crimes has broken the marriage covenant, discarding it, essentially rejecting the victim in order to have their way and do what they want which may as well be called adulterous. I wish to say more about this at another time. 4. OATHS Many people rush into promises, but have no intention of keeping them. They are not people of integrity. They are anything but trustworthy. That is not what God's people are supposed to be. We are supposed to be honest and true. So, when we make commitments we don't need to swear by any other authority. We just say the truth, "yes or no". We don't need anything else because we already come under the authority of God and should live like it. 5. REVENGE The law of retribution or Lex Talionis was put in place to make sure that someone didn't excessivly take out their wrath on another person in their pursuit of vengence. It meant that if you brother punches you that you should hit back twice and twice as hard. It meant that you don't kill someone for knocking a tooth out, not that it was a requirement for you to take their tooth as well, but it was a limit. Jesus takes it even further and makes it all about loving your enemy (previously discussed in the Beattitudes section). He suggests not pursuing your rights for revenge at all in favor of caring for others and seeking their betterment. Crazy? No! Counter cultural and revolutionary? Yes, and very much what He did and still does for us. 7. HATE YOUR ENEMY We have no problem with the first part of the statement "Love your neighbor..." right, but Jesus points out that the second part, "hate your enemy" has no place in the lives of the people of God. Do I really need to say more? Our culture seems to think it's okay to hate our enemies. After all, they hurt us/ hate us/ harm us, so why shouldn't we hate them? Because we can't be "good" godly people and hold these opposites. It doesn't work. What do we do instead? We love our enemy! We pray for them! Not for their destruction, but for their good. "But it's not fair! Why should we want the prosperity of people who do wicked, hurtful things to us?" Because that is what Children of God do, God will sort them out, you need to be the people God made you to be - like him! You can't say that Jesus was just a "good teacher" if you really understand the Sermon on the Mount. He was a revolutionary teacher - the BEST! Beyond that, he lived what he taught. He loved us while we were still sinners, he showed the right way to relate to Him and eachother. and showed us our true value on the cross. If you don't know Jesus or all he has done for you, I'd be happy to introduce you to Him. He has changed my life and taken what I thought I knew about the world and life and brought it to a whole nother level. He is always expanding my understanding and growing my love for Him and for others. He can do the same for you. If you want to know more, read the Gospels and discover Jesus. |
Jim OakleyI've been in ministry for about 15 years and have learned a lot in my time. I hope to share a little of what the Lord has shown me with you. Ultimately, I am passionate about creatively communicating the life-changing truth of the Gospel of Jesus Christ equipping saints to live missionally. Archives
February 2017
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