I've heard many discouraged and depressed believers cry out in distress because, " I know what I did was wrong, I know you say God forgives me, but I just can't forgive myself." You know what? They're right. They can't forgive themselves and they don't need to. Before you lable me a heretic and burn me at the stake, know that I haven't gone off the deep end, but have a revolutionary truth that we all need to understand. It is a truth that has changed my life and helped me find a peace and freedom that I didn't previously know was possible. Looking at me from the outside, some may doubt that I've ever done anything that bad because after all, I'm a church going goody two shoes - or so i've been called (true story). I may be a pastor, but that doesn't make me better than anyone. I have felt the convicting light of Christ pierce into the darkness of my sinful soul and show how my selfishness, cowardice, and pride have wounded others. I have also heard the voice of condemnation rattle off my sins and tell me that I am altogether repulsive, rejected by God, and without cure. Some well intentioned counselors may suggest that I needed to forgive myself, but I don't and I won't. You shouldn't either. You won't find a command in scripture to "forgive yourself" because it's not Biblical! If it's not Biblical, then where did it come from? I've heard it preached from pulpits, but is it possible that this is just a cultural misunderstanding of God's grace. Call it a human counselor's poor advice, but don't call it Gospel truth. Let's work the logic on this. If you still disagree with me after this, let's talk. In fact, I invite you do dialogue with me in the comments below. Not every comment will be posted, but I will be fair if you are. Here are some great reasons rooted in God's word why you don't need to forgive yourself: 1. Your sin is not against you. This is the most important point I can make here. King David knew this and wrote out his Psalm/ prayer for forgiveness in Psalm 51. 1 Be gracious to me, O God, according to Your lovingkindness; According to the greatness of Your compassion blot out my transgressions. 2 Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity And cleanse me from my sin. 3 For I know my transgressions, And my sin is ever before me. 4 Against You, You only, I have sinned And done what is evil in Your sight, So that You are justified when You speak And blameless when You judge. Now, King David did some pretty unbelievable things including stealing another man's wife after peeping her taking a bath, decieving said woman's husband to try to cover his tracks, then putting to death by military command. just to name a few. His response was telling of what he believed about forgiveness and the nature of his sin. Notice that first he called out for God's compassion and cleansing while recognizing that even though His sin affected and offended many, it really was only against God. It was only God's forgiveness he was pursuing, not his own. How can that be? Did he not sin against Bathsheeba or her husband Uriah? He certianly did wrong by them and no doubt offended their character, but is it technically sin? Who defines sin as sin? Isn't the one who defines what sin is the primary one who is offended? Even if other parties are hurt by our actions, our sin always points to the source of all good things, the author of right and wrong, the one whose character and being they are all based on. | This takes morality to the source. We could dive deeper here, but we would get swept away into a philosophical and theological discussion that might be enlightening for some, but mostly confusing for others. 2. You are not God - I know this should be obvious, but throughout history humanity has repeatedly confused themselves for the Almighty. When we think that we are the ones who are fit to judge everyone and everything we put ourselves on God's great white throne of judgement. Who are you to judge what is forgivable? If God says that, "if you confess your sins, he is faithful and just to forgive you of your sin and cleanse you from all unrighteousness", (1 John 1:9) who are you to keep holding on to the shame and pain? He declares you righteous based on faith in Christ's finished work on the cross and not on your being good enough or forgiving yourself. 3. Only God can forgive sins - In Mark 2, Jesus heals a man who was paralyzed. What he says to the man gets himself in deep trouble with the pharisees and religious leaders of his time. He says "Son, your sins are forgiven" (Mk 2:5). The uproar from the disbelieving theologians is understood, "only God can forgive sins." Jesus, puts down their argument with proof that he has divine authority over disease and thus to forgive sins by telling the man to take up his mat and walk. So, to integrate the previous point, our sin is agains God, So the offended party alone has power to forgive sins - AND HE DOES!!! 4. You didn't pay the price for your sin - You aren't Jesus and didn't give your life to take the punishment that your sins deserve. If you want to be a glutton for that eternal punishment, if you want to wallow in condemnation and shame, God will let you, but that means rejecting God's offer of salvation by faith in what Jesus did. That means that you are not a Christian at all. That means that you have chosen where you want to spend eternity. You have chosen Hell. Yikes! We got super intense there, but think about it. It's not a great option. What can you do instead? INSTEAD
You are loved! Never forget that! |
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Jim OakleyI've been in ministry for about 15 years and have learned a lot in my time. I hope to share a little of what the Lord has shown me with you. Ultimately, I am passionate about creatively communicating the life-changing truth of the Gospel of Jesus Christ equipping saints to live missionally. Archives
February 2017
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